Today I couldn’t sleep

Kristan post on December 15th, 2012
Posted in Inner strength Tags: , , , , , ,

It was one of those days that no matter how much you try not to watch the news, you do. You have so many emotions about what you see, think about how hurt those parents must be. Almost like you were the parent and you feel for them. My prayers, love and light are with all those how have been affected by this devastation in Connecticut . I had so much to blog about on a list, after studying for my chemistry final, of course. I just couldn’t get past this.

I distracted myself with, yes I will admit it, Housewives of ? city, I don’t know because there are so many, but I kept going back to the news channels and they all said the same thing. 20 children, 7 adults, confirmed dead, waiting on….more bad news to come.

The article, title , “‘Shocked’” stated,” The massacre left people in the Connecticut community, around the country, around the world asking questions. Who was this man, and why did he do this?” Why do we need, to know him? or who he is, and why? For future prevention? Okay, some of this I get, however what good will it actually do me to worry about that, and about sending my soon to be kindergartner to school? Or how about the Post Office?

“Shocked” is what everyone says, but is that true? Hasn’t this happened before? In n Columbine, , the elementary schools in

Are we “Shocked,” that it was in a community with “that type of demographics”? Meaning, perhaps, “95.14% White” where the “median income for a household in the town was $90,193″. I am going to say this with the most caring and kind intentions, I am not shocked at all.

I have learned that the world can be unkind, horrible, mean, unfair, and that it may not make any sense. We as individuals, however are not. We have been given the ability to think not necessarily, above, but differently than that. In fact, I have realized that it does me no good to argue with and ask questions about reality. What happens, or happened, or will happen, who it happened to, why it happened and how it happened is, reality. What I think (in that moment) about all that, is what will cause my suffering.

My new favoriate quote:
“All suffering begins, and ends with you.”
It is a (I choose to delete “hard”) process called, “The Work” by Byron Katie. Have you heard of it?

Well. “the Work” came to me, through my Aunt, who of course, gives me all sorts of strange and complicated concepts to work on and ponder. It is a simple 4 questions about a thought. “Inquiry” it is called. I had so many things to blog about, and this one just jumped up on my list after today’s events. I am not an expert on this, it is challenging for me as well.
I want to be a light for you who are looking for an end to your pain and suffering. This life is about you and how you perceive it, so it is said… who said?

Well, Jesus also said, to live in this moment, in Matthew 6:34
Has a very short and to the point message about this;
“So don’t worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Tomorrow will have its own worries.” (ERV)

Here is where I am on my faith walk, in investigation of my worrisome thinking in this moment, about the future or the past. Doesn’t that sound crazy? I did “The Work” on my thoughts about what happened in Newtown, CT. immediately my suffering surpassed, I can not end anyone else’s suffering, but my own, however, I can help them to ease their’s by ending mine!

Please share where you are in your life Journey, what are you working on?

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8 responses .

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hello Kristan!
    I love Byron Katie and have been inquiring into my thinking for the past year! I have become more closer to God than ever in my 42 years of being a Christian! Thank you for this blog about her and relating it to current events!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I agree that we can end our own suffering, but what about being wrongfully imprisoned? or my proble is that I am in the wrong blace at the wrong time?

  3. Luis Jose says:

    Hi Kristan,
    Great blog! I agree with the previous comments posted. I am currently on my own path to find God and fill that void in my heart I feel I am missing. I will head your advise and end my own suffering. Tragic events in CT indeed. Keep up the good work. God bless!

  4. Yoli says:

    Hello, after spending some time on Byron katie’s website and really studying Mathew 6:34 and some parallel related verses, I am confused still how this could be so easy!! Why doesn’t everyone do this!
    It is so true that we end only our own suffering, but for so long I never knew how Kristan!!
    No one taught me this!!
    I ordered her book, “Loving What Is” for myself and daughter, who is turning 18. I am excited to “work”!

    Here it is on so your Blog readers can have a look inside.

    • Kristan says:

      Hi Yoli,
      Thank you for your comment! Yes, when you figure this out it is a whole new life. Nothing really bothers me anymore. Or should I say, I don’t let it bother me.

      Best of Luck with your, “work”

  5. Yoli says:

    Dear Anonymous,
    I had these questions when my sister was in jail for 3 months, because she stopped her husband from beating her daughter. She shot him in the head, and although he survived, during the investigation so many people blamed her!!!
    I commend her for being so strong in that time and I remember that she really dug deep and our church helped her with an amazing attorney, who gave her this verse,

    Matthew 10:19 NIV
    “But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say,”

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